Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
