Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
