I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
