Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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