Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
