fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
