do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
