please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
