He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
