you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
