Already got asked if we're dating
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
