they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
