Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You are the jesus of drinking
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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