Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
