Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
