i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
