Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
