i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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