now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
