the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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