If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
