Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
