I'm drive I can fine osifer
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
