a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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