i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
