Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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