don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Randomize
