Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
