Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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