Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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