i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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