Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
