just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
