Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
