Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
