Yo dont text me then not text me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
