Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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