its not stalking. its research.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
