I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
