I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
