i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
