Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
