felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
