keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
