Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
