Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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