your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
