Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
