did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
