It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
